Updated: Oct 24, 2019
I’ve been meaning to post this for awhile now, but I haven’t been able to find the words to convey my heart.
I remember back when Z was born, and he slept in the crib his first night home. I had so many people comment on how shocked they were that I didn’t have my son right next to my bed, “I’d be up all night worried about him” and “what if he wakes up and cries because he’s scared.” So many different voices…
Well for one, we had a video monitor. For two, I knew he was safe in his crib, and three….I KNOW WHATS BEST FOR MY CHILD.
I’ve lived with that motto ever since that first night, and both of my children sleep in their own beds, for 10-12 hours every single night.
So I’ve learned that it’s best to just DO YOU.
You grew that child in you, you birthed that child, you raise that child…you’re the mama and you know what’s best for that child.
It’s hard in this world where everyone thinks they are right, and that they know “the only way”…and what I’ve learned is that there are millions of ways to raise your children.
We do the cry-it-out method. It works for us. We know they are safe, we know it’ll lead to them sleeping in their own bed and we know it’s harder on the parent than the baby. And moments like the photo above are special, when she wakes up too early and needs to snuggle in mama’s bed. We know what’s best for our baby.
We do baby-led weaning and formula feeding. It works for us. I breastfed Z for 9 months and C for 6 months but had to stop both times because there wasn’t enough breast milk. So we figured out other ways because fed is best–because we know what’s best for our baby.
We do discipline. It works for us. The Bible tells us in Proverbs “24 Whoever spares the rod hates their children, but the one who loves their children is careful to discipline them” and “15 Folly is bound up in the heart of a child, but the rod of discipline will drive it far away” and “13 Do not withhold discipline from a child; if you punish them with the rod, they will not die. 14 Punish them with the rod and save them from death.” and last one, “15 A rod and a reprimand impart wisdom, but a child left undisciplined disgraces its mother.” I’m obviously not talking about using a rod on our children or causing them harm. I’m saying we do spankings, we do time-outs, we do “I’m sorry” in our house because it’s biblical, because kids need to learn that it’s not okay to be disobedient or bite and hit others or talk back. The Bible also says “6 Start children off on the way they should go, and even when they are old they will not turn from it.” We are raising future adults, future husbands and wives…they’ll learn from the way we parent and we want to be the best parents we can be. We do this because we know what’s best for our kids.
If you don’t think we are doing things “right”, it’s probably because we have different ways of parenting and that’s 100% OKAY. Let us do it this way and click the “X” at the top of your page and carry on with your day.
If you want to co-sleep, do it! If you want to strictly breastfeed, more power to you! If you want to not discipline, then don’t!
Just however you decide to parent, be yourself, DO YOU, and do it confidently. And know that these kids are smart, they’re absorbing every single thing you do and say; you are teaching them by just being you…
God is the best teacher, learn from Him, so they can learn from Him. *And again, this is what we think is best for our kids, this is not me shoving God down your throat.
If you feel like others are judging you, walk away.
If you feel like others are making you feel like a bad mom, walk away.
If you feel like you’ve got this and you’re doing a good job, keep going…YOU DO YOU, MAMA!
And my way of parenting isn’t “the right way” but it IS our way of parenting and we are doing it!
This was deep, and I’m not even sorry about it.
Disclaimer: child abuse and neglect is NOT okay. Doing YOU is okay as long as your child is safe and cared for.
Verses in this post: Proverbs 13:24 Proverbs 22:15 Proverbs 22:6 Proverbs 23:13-14 Proverbs 29:15