I need to be a more intentional wife and mom.
I have recently realized that my son is attracted to screens of all types. Whether that be a smart phone or a TV screen, it steals his attention away from anything he is doing. We live in such a distracted age that I shouldn’t be surprised, but I am…because he’s a baby! Babies don’t even know what the word distraction means, but they sadly learn the definition by observing us.
It’s hard for me to admit this, but I have a phone problem- I check social media and text messages throughout the day, sometimes without even thinking about it (it’s become such a habit that I click and scroll, almost like phone-finger-autopilot.) Being glued to a screen isn’t helping myself, my child or my husband. (And it’s probably not helping my sleep with all that stimulation!)
A recent sermon from our pastor, told us that our phone should be our servant, we should not be it’s slave.
Amen! Preach it, Pastor Jeff!
In this social network “connected” world, we are the least connected to those around us. I’m truly saddened by this daily. It’s so ironic that the social networks are creating a generation of anti-social people. Technology is great-it’s come a long way-but it’s also, if not used correctly and sparingly, damaging to marriages, families and friendships.
If you’re always looking down…you’ll miss this.
Here is why it’s important to disconnect:
1. They watch and learn from you.
I am raising more than a little boy; I am raising a future young man, future friend, future boyfriend, future husband, and future father. I desire for him to be positively influenced as he grows up, by someone who is intentionally there with him, listening and paying attention and making a difference in his life as he learns and grows, not someone who is looking down at their phone the entire day and missing out on what’s most important in life (because is reading that your friend just checked into Chick-Fil-A more important than reading a book to your kid?)
I feel that real connections and real relationships are vital, whether that be a relationship with Jesus in prayers and worship, or with family members or friends.
If my child sees me being on my phone all day, he will think that is acceptable and okay. I do not believe that is acceptable OR okay, because you miss out on reading a good book, enjoying the silence, talking in person with friends or acquaintances, taking a walk outside or worshiping Jesus with music while dancing in the kitchen… Look up from that little device in your hand (and put it down!!) and engage in conversation or sing a song, little ears are listening (and little eyes are watching!)
2. A child needs his parent and a husband needs his wife.
All day, my child deserves my undivided attention, prayers, eye contact, nutritional meals, hugs and kisses, time outside, books being read to him, and encouragement.
When my husband gets home from a long day of working two jobs, he deserves my undivided attention, prayers, eye contact, a home cooked meal, a hug and kiss, a back rub, encouragement and respect.
Sometimes I need to check myself, and make sure I’m being an intentional mom during the day, and an intentional wife when my husband steps through the door. I need to bring my best self forward and be all that I can be for them, they deserve 100% of me, not a distracted 80% me…a full 100%.
3. The internet is filled with everyone only showing you the happiest parts of their lives.
It’s been a over a week since I deleted Facebook from my phone. (I still have Instagram on it.)
IT FEELS SO GREAT!!
I allow myself to check it once before bed on the laptop (if I even have the desire to) and that’s it’s. And about 75% of the day, my phone isn’t even in the same room as I am.
I’ve realized lately that social media is either filled with politics, drama, marketing or sales, hatred, or “perfect” lives that either allow you to feel jealous (when you should feel content) or allow you to covet their possessions or life (and that’s also why I don’t go on Pinterest!) which is anything but healthy, because nobody has a perfect life.
And most of the time, the information I gather from Facebook neither inhances my life nor makes me a better wife or mom…so what’s the point? (Hence a reason I don’t watch the news most of the time, either 😬 Being informed is good, but at what cost?)
I believe it’s crucial for us to disconnect from the shallow connections we have on the Internet, and make a true connection with the people in our lives. Eventually those people won’t be with us anymore, life is short and we need to make the most of every moment.
So CALL those people in your life, get together with them IN PERSON, and then PUT YOUR PHONE DOWN. (I will teach my child that it’s rude to have your phone out at a table of people or when company is over. 📵 and he will be in his teens before he gets his own.)
I love sharing photos with all of you; I love that my little boy can brighten your day with his infectious smile or laugh…and I will still share pictures occasionally, but definitely not as often. (I’d love to get together with you over coffee instead.😉)
Play dates are fun for the babes AND the mommas.
It took a long time to realize that I was measuring my photos and influence by “likes” and that’s just not realistic. I should be spending my time and energy on genuine conversations with people about Jesus and motherhood and being a better wife, rather than pressing refresh and hoping for a plethora of likes that I can’t take with me to Heaven.
Now don’t get me wrong…
I really do love my phone, I love using FaceTime to see family in different states and I love keeping “connected” by text to friends in the same city. I also love taking photos and sharing them with all of you, and seeing all of your precious photos, too. Yes, I love my phone. I would love to go completely smart phone free, but I do enjoy it from time to time.
What I desire from this disconnection:
I desire to stop feeling like I am missing out on important conversations and intimate times with my husband. I desire better communication.
I desire to continue with minimalism, not just of things, but of unnecessary information that I load my brain with daily.
I desire to be an influence to other moms and wives who may feel these same things, and who might just need a break from the noise of the world.
I desire to get some workouts in multiple times a week while baby is sleeping…instead of just giving my thumb a scrolling workout.
I desire to see my son get excited over a book even more than he does when he sees a screen light up.
I desire to stop feeling like I have to fill the rare moments of “boredom” or quiet in my day with the noise of everyone else’s life.
I desire to fill myself back up with bible study time, or a good book, or writing, or a long walk with the baby and dogs-taking in the fresh air and beautiful creation.
I desire to love more, and be more intentional.❤
Won’t you join me?
Put that phone down and make a list of things you want to do with your husband and kids. (Things on my list: play BOARD games, do a science experiment, go to a museum, go fishing, walk around downtown, explore new beaches and small towns, go camping, play football in the yard, cook dinner together, pray together, color and draw, go swimming…) THEN DO THEM!