Updated: Oct 24, 2019
11 months of living apart from my husband was never something we planned. It’s never something we thought we’d be doing, and it definitely has not been easy.
It’s taught me how important my spouse is, and how easy it is for us to take someone for granted. It’s taught me the value of time, because two out of seven days a week is not much time to spend with someone.
It’s taught me about sacrifice.
Sometimes I wake up and I’m so weary. Exhausted from not enough sleep and dreading the day ahead—I shouldn’t feel that way, but I’m human, and I do occasionally! Chasing after kids, keeping kids occupied, feeding kids, playing with kids…you get the picture. Day in and day out, it’s kids kids kids kids. (Whoa is me, right?!)
I have to sometimes remind myself of something that puts me back in the right mindset…
I GET to be here with the kids.
I GET to see their “firsts” and be a part of every moment.
And I GET to be here thanks to the sacrifice of my husband.
Jon works over an hour away from here, he’s only here on the weekends…he misses so much. THAT is sacrifice. I complain that things are hard, when he just wishes he could be here to experience any of it. I tell him something funny that Z did and I can see it in his eyes that he’s crushed he wasn’t here to see it. He sacrifices so much, so we can live in this beautiful home and raise adventurous babes on this land.
It’s heartbreaking. But it’s also been our life, so we try to make the best of it. We made sure to do fun things and experience life together when we could.
The distance has also taught me a lot about love.
The fact that love isn’t just sappy love notes and holding hands and stealing kisses…it’s not just friendship and making babies.
Love and marriage is hard work, it’s commitment and communication, it’s fighting and saying I’m sorry, it’s believing in each other and standing up for each other, it’s messing up and being surrounded by grace. Marriage is putting your spouse above yourself, and serving God together, and making decisions together and raising kids together and doing life together! It’s enduring the hard times and embracing the good times.
I imagine sacrificial love is a lot like walking on legos. Even if you just step on ONE, you’re yelling “ouch!” and telling your kids to clean up their mess. Saying “I’d walk on legos for you” is basically saying “I’d do anything for you because I love you that much.”
I think that’s what this 11 months has taught me the most.
We’re doing what we can, as best as we can, because we know it’ll all be worth it in the end, and we love each other no matter what the distance or pain or loneliness.
Jonathan…I will do whatever it takes to hold this family together until we can be together full time. I will raise these babes as best as I know how. I will love you through it all. And yes…I *already* walk on legos for you, and I’ll continue to do so for all our days.
AND if you’ve made it this far…an exciting announcement for our family: Jon gets to work from home THREE DAYS A WEEK (starting today!!!!!!!) so we get daddy five out of seven days. It’s been a long time coming, and a lot of prayers, and we are SOOO excited! Praise God, for His perfect timing and His continued faithfulness through the last 11 months.
And thank you friends and family, for praying for us and lifting us up during this time. Those prayers and texts and messages were very much appreciated.