I feel like I haven’t written in ages.
It has been 24 days.
Here I am, still not having anything to write but feeling confident that as I sit here, typing, the words will just come. I’m going to take a stab and say I’m in a writing rut.
And quite possibly at the same time…a momma rut. Or a life rut.
I love being a mom, with every fiber of my being. I thrive on it. I get my high off it. And I am confident that it is what I was meant to do with my life.
But lately, I feel like I’m in a fog. I’m sure it’s just pregnancy number two making me feel miserable, but still. I miss the Monica from the summer. The Monica that had all the energy to run around with her toddler.
The Monica that was high on life.
Then I’m reminded that each day isn’t always going to be roses and rainbows. Sometimes there are migraines or sore throats, or clouds that block the sun, or hurricanes that mute the joy or snow that comes way too soon. Sometimes there are bills that can’t be paid and pre-natal care that can’t be afforded. Sometimes stress boils over into complete meltdowns. Sometimes, the days are filled with crying, and the baby screaming, and teething. Sometimes the days are just…off.
But…then there are eventually bright and beautiful days. There are eventually days filled with smiles, laughter, and friends.
THERE IS JOY EVEN IN TIMES OF DARKNESS.
That very joy comes from God, from seeking out Jesus.
In my many times of silence this fall, I’ve attempted to pray a hurricane out of the path of my family’s house, I’ve read through Ruth 4 times, I’ve taken a lot of photos, I’ve learned a lot about essential oils, I’ve watched some football (go, Pack, GO!) I’ve spent countless hours (and many nights) praying for our family and friends with cancer, I’ve stressed over where our family is suppose to be in all these financially confusing times, and I’ve even tried to do some DIYs.
And even though I don’t have much to write about, I am certain that this time away has been good for the soul. It’s reminded me that the sun eventually shines, the water will recede, your child will still love you no matter how much you feel you’re failing him, God will continue to provide for you even when you’re not sure how the bills will be paid, and maybe the rut you think you’re in, isn’t really a rut after all…maybe it’s a time of learning, and a much needed time of rest.
Ruts are good. Be in the moment and figure out why it is you’re there. Maybe it’s to pray more. To be silent and still more. To examine your heart and find that joy that comes from God. To declutter your home and your life. Maybe it’s to reach out to friends and family you haven’t seen or talked to in awhile-check in and have a nice heart-to-heart. Maybe it’s to just take in everything that’s happening around you.
Maybe we should all strive for a rut once in awhile and be okay with them when they come. And remember…to take a step back, and look at your life with the perspective of eternity…remember what’s important, and who is important.
Thanks for reading, as always. I appreciate YOU for being along side my motherhood (and life) journey. ❤️